Log in to Facebook and in amongst the occasional interesting or genuinely funny post, you will be confronted by a load of bullshit.
We are all friends with at least one person who could be classed as a prick. You would like to unfriend them. Blocking someone on Facebook is the equivalent of saying “you’re not coming to my birthday party” therefore you are F!~@ked, scrolling through their daily posts.
I have summarised 12 most annoying Facebook posters in the list below. They are all equally annoying in their own unique way so the list is in no particular order. Feel free to add more in the comments though. Oh, and make sure that you share this post on Facebook as well so that your friends know how annoying they are!
The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore:
"I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too boring for some people to broadcast to the world. Just because you have 646 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.
The Self-Promoter:
OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, you sound like a bragger or a self-centred careerist.
The Friend-Paddler:
The Friend-Paddler:
The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. You know, the ones who make friends on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're Me or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just f"?>@ing showing off.
The Bad Grammarian:
The Bad Grammarian:
Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi prick. But you sound like a moron.
The Sympathy-Baiter:
"Melanie is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jake could really use some good news about now." In the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.
The Lurker:
The Lurker:
The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these people are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.
The Crank:
The Crank:
These assholes, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about.
The Paparazzo:
Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someones posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorise and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were kissing the road or trying to hump a vase.
The Chronic Inviter.
"Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm George Bush! What president are you?"
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.
You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends? Now excuse me while I go post the link to this story on my Facebook page.
Thank You for reading. Hey why not like, share and let me know by comment about any more of those annoying assholes out there.....
